Be carefull what you order


This guy ordered a Bacardi Breezer.

The Preacher said:

"If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river".
And the congregation cried, "Amen!"

"And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it in the river".
And the congregation cried, "Amen!"

"And if I had all the whiskey and rum in the world, I'd take it all and throw it in the river".
Again the congregation cried, "Amen!"

The preacher sat down.

The deacon then stood up & said:
"For our closing hymn, let's turn to page 126 of our hymn books and sing Hymn #12:
"We shall drink from that river".


The Whole Congregation screamed HALLELUJAH......

Dinge wat MOEILIKis om te sê wanneer jy dronk is

1. Innoverend
2. Preliminêr
3. Verspreiding
4. Kaneelsuiker


Dinge wat BAIE MOEILIKis om te sê wanneer jy dronk is

1. Spesifiseer
2. Anti-konstitusionalisties
3. Passief-agressiewe afwyking
4. Transubstansieer
5. Sofistikeerd

Dinge wat F@KKENONMOONTLIK is om te sê wanneer jy dronk is

1. Nee dankie, ek is getroud.
2. Nee, niks meer vir my om te drink nie.
3. Jammer, jy is nie my tipe nie.
4. 'n Hamburger?? Nee dankie, ek is nie honger nie.
5. Goeienaand offisier, heerlike aand né?
6. O nee, ek kan nie. Niemand wil my hoor karaoke nie.
7. Ek stel nie belang om met jou te baklei nie.
8. Dankie, maar ek wil nie dans nie. Ek het nie ko-ordinasie
nie en wil nie soos 'n gek lyk nie.
9. Waar's die naaste toilet? Ek weier om in die parkeer
terrein of langs die pad te piepie.
9. Nee, ek bel nie my vriende die tyd van die aand nie.
10. Ek moet nou huistoe gaan. Ek werk môre.

This should be taken seriously!!!
Alcohol Labels Just Like Cigarettes

Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell Happened to your bra and panties.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering When you are not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a Retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
over And over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers Are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
Converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
Tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
Laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting
your Ass kicked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel Gode.

Pass this to all your friends if you feel they may be in danger.