This is a great country because:

You can eat half dried meat and not be considered disgusting
Nothing is your fault, you can blame it all on apartheid
You get to buy a new car every 3 months and the insurance company even pays for it
You can experience k@k service in eleven official languages
Where else can you get oranges with 45% alcohol content at rugby matches?
It's the only country in the world where striking workers show how angry they are by dancing and singing
You're considered clumsy if you cannot: use a cell phone (without car kit), change CD's, drink a beer, put on make-up, read the newspaper and smoke, all at the same time while driving a car at 160 kph in a 60 kph zone
Great accent (!!!)
If you live in Johannesburg, you get to brag about living in the most dangerous city in the world.
Burglar bars become a feature, and a great selling point for your house
You can decorate your garden walls with barbed wire
The tow-trucks are the first on the scene for most major crimes, without being called. The police you have to call about three times
Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins
Illegal immigrants leave the country because the crime rate is too high
The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you've just reported
When a murderer gets a 6 month sentence and a pirate TV viewer 2 years
The prisoners strike and get to vote in elections!
The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response when they are burgled Police cars are fitted with immobilisers and gear locks!

The only country, where U find hot (stolen ) cars for sale in dealerships...and not only one...but several...and when U go to the police to check that the car is in order...U are totally ignored and told all kind of stories but the truth...followed outside and told...I will tell U about this car if U give me R100...but dont tell anyone I told U that this car is stolen...
The only country in which police officers asked me which car I would like them to snatch for me...
The only country, in which the police stopped me for driving too slowly in the right lane...at 110 where the speed limit was 110...
The only country in which U are welcomed immediately after the border, by police officers and threatened with everything under the moon, until U give a bribe!
And so much more...