Please print these out for reference or commit them to memory! Feel free to add any other rules not listed. Lol!

1. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. However you can Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
2. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
3. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
4. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just greedy.
5. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.
6. Always toast before doing a shot. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast. Remember to change your toast at least once a month.
7. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact or a wave. Never whistle. You whistle to call your dog.
8. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.
9. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.
10. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
11. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.
12. Always have a corkscrew and bottle opener in your house.
13. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.
14. Our parents were better drinkers than we are.
15. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.
16. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If getting smashed was all good times, every idiot would be doing it.
17. If you ever feel depressed, get out a bartender’s guide and browse through all the drinks you’ve never tried.
18. You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they keep their drink to their mouth.
19. It's okay to get smashed alone, as long as you're at home. Getting smashed on your own at the pub is bordering on alcoholism.
20. If you're doing a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it, don't accept it.
21. If you think you're slurring a little, then you're slurring a lot. If you think you're slurring a lot, then you're not speaking English.
22. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you're ready for another, always say yes. Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying more drinks than him.
23. Learn the correct ingrediants for cocktails. e.g: never be in doubt whether you need triple sec or contreau in a margarita.
24. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, “I'm an idiot.”
25. If there is a queue for drinks, get your ***damn drink and step the hell away from the bar!
26. If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.
27. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink.
28. Anyone carrying three or more drinks, has the right of way.
29. There’s nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you’re supposed to be at work!
30. You will forget every one of these rules by your fifth drink.