NIGHTMARE #1

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over,
pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his
lighter. Unable to find
it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some
matches
in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the
bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of
a
framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy began to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly," she
replied,
snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at
all,"
she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?"
demanded the bewildered guy. Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me
before
the operation."




NIGHTMARE #2

The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying
to think of
a way to rekindle it. One night he came from work, and found his
wife asleep
in bed. He thought to himself, "what should I do?" "Oh-I know."
He proceeded to get under the covers and go down on his wife.
Soon she began
to gently squirm and moan in pleasure. After a few minutes, her
body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed. Afterwards, the man
went straight to
the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he got there, the light was
on and he
saw his wife there shaving her legs. He exclaimed, "What are you
doing in
here?!?" She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake
your mother"



NIGHTMARE #3

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about
To kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts
feeling a little
h**** With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand
against the wall and smiling,
he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a b *** job?"
Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on!
Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at her. "No,
please. Can you imagine
if we get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all
sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I
love you so much?!?" "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just
can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no. I just can't" "I'm begging you..." Out of the blue, the
light on
the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pyjamas,
hair
dishevelled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says to go ahead
and give
him a b *** job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she
can come down herself and do it But for goodness' sake tell him to
take his hand off the
intercom!"