The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children? I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

The husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute, Love, so at least I can tell you what happened.'

'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And so, the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down-and-out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

'Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower and, while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas, that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please, Sir...do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'