Revenue Canada decides to audit Grandpa,
and summons him to the Revenue Canada office.

The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa
showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an
extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment,

Which you explain by saying that you win
money gambling. I'm not sure Revenue Canada finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,'
says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said,
'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand
dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's
a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two
thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't
blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his
good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has
wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He
starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks
'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your
desk, and piss into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop
anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now,
but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could
possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips
his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach
the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much pisses all over the
auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that
he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts
his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This
morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five
thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

Don't Mess with Old People!!