For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone say, “You don’t know Jack Schitt”!

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate married O. Schitt the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack married Noe Schitt.

The deeply religious couple produced six children; Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parent’s objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Shitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the news paper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitts-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Pias Schitt.

Now when someone says, “You don’t know Jack Schitt,” you can correct them

Good one ... I like it.